Been Awhile

I can't believe I haven't done an entry since my trip. I took excellent notes and plan on doing a day by day journal of my trip, but honestly haven't had the time. Adjusting to a new child has been interesting, to say the least. We seem to be settling into a routine and things are quieting down a bit now. Elijah is a sweet, happy, little guy. He loves his brother and sisters. He grins from ear to ear when daddy gets home from work, and doesn't let mommy out of his sight. He has starting eating any and everything all day long. He has a little catching up to do, so this is a good thing. He is overall healthy. We love having him around.

Here I go.

I've run into another immigration snag, but it is not going to delay my trip. The form they were suppose to forward to the National Visa Center did not get sent. The National Visa Center has to have it before I can pick up Elijah's visa and bring him back into the states. It was mailed today and NVC only has about a 48 hour turn around time, so the agency is fairly confident it will be done in time. I'm not leaving Ethiopia until May 29th, so if it's not done by the time I go to the embassy (Tuesday 5/25) It should be done by the time I need to pick up his visa (thursday or friday). There is a slight possibility it will delay me in country and I will need to extend my stay a day or two until it is taken care of, but I can't think about that right now. I'm just trusting and praying that all will be handled on time.
It's been such an incredibly long journey to get to this point. I can't believe the time has actually come to go get my son. This has been the longest pregnancy ever! I won't be able to update while I'm gone, but I'm going to try to journal my thoughts so I can post about them when I am back. Next time you hear from me I will have my cute, sweet, little boy at home in my arms!

48 hours

48 hours until I arrive at O'hare to begin my journey to Ethiopia. I'm nervous, anxious, scared, excited, but most of all ready. It's been a very long road and I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I wasn't going alone, but it is what it is.
My bags are packed, meals for the kids are made and frozen, child care is lined up (and yes I printed out a novel's worth of instructions- go ahead and mock me!). The house isn't nearly as clean or ready as I wanted it to be, but there are somethings that are just not going to get done. At least since I'll be gone, everyone will just assume the kids made the mess! :-)
For those that don't know me well enough to know how my insane mind works, here's a glimpse:
I've studied the map and weighed out the possibility of the plane going down over land versus over water. I have formed the theory that I have a better chance of survival if the plane goes down over water, and since it appears we are over ocean for a lot longer than we are over land- my odds are pretty good! I could go into all the how's and why's of the theory, but since it's all just my opinion any ways, I won't go into it. Of course I also have it in my head that as I'm sitting there in the ocean, floating on my flotation device, I get eaten by a shark. Haven't quite outweighed the eaten by shark vs dying by plane crash options all the way out yet, but there is still time. Getting the picture yet? This is why I asked the doc. for some really good medication to help get me through this trip.
I'm looking forward to seeing and experiencing Ethiopia, just wish I could drive myself there to do it!
I also rec'd an email from the agency stating that since it is election time, and Ethiopia is known to have riots break out during elections, none of the families traveling for this embassy appointment will be leaving the city. Our activities will also be kept to a minimum. I think I'm ok with that. Some of the other families that have gone before me have expressed that the schedule is usually pretty full and the trip is pretty scheduled. I'm ok with just having some free time to spend with my son.

I'm leaving on a Jet plane

I rec'd word today that Immigration has finished my I600A re-file and I am cleared to leave for Ethiopia. I was starting to think this was never going to happen. Since we had been watching flight prices on various sights for weeks, it didn't take long to find one. It was not my first choice of flight pattern or flight times, but it was a few hundred dollars cheaper than the others, so that made it a no brain-er for me! I'm leaving on Wednesday at approximately 10:00 p.m. and flying overnight to Franfurt, Germany. I'll have a whopping 20 hour layover in Germany and then go on to Addis from there arriving around 6 p.m. on Friday. I was informed by the airline, that as long as I am not leaving the airport in Germany, I won't need a visa. Guess I better bring a couple good books!
I'm assuming that since I'm getting in later in the day on Friday, I won't get to meet Elijah until Saturday. Saturday is also his first birthday.
I will be in Ethiopia until Saturday May 29th and will arrive home on Sunday afternoon. I am hoping to stay at Morning Coffee Guest house. I have heard so many wonderful things about the family that runs it, and am looking forward to meeting them and supporting the work they do in Ethiopia.
I weighed my bags today and I have about 6 pounds available still! Looks like I'll be packing in a few more donations for the orphanage.

Another Bittersweet day.

Happy Mother's Day. It's a reminder to me of how long I waited and how much work it took for me to become a mother. For as long as I remember it's all I wanted to do with my life. I am reminded today of how blessed I am to have my amazing kids. I am also sad today to be missing one of my kids. I should have been spending this Mother's Day in Ethiopia, picking up my new son. Due to an error in my paperwork and an oversight regarding my immigration approval expiration date I have been delayed. I was given another date (may 25th) for an embassy appointment, but was told not to book my flight until we have the immigration approval. As of Friday we still did not have everything turned into to Immigration for them to work on the approval. Apparently the FBI has not processed our required background check update. My case worker is doing everything she can to get this done quickly, but once again I find myself waiting on things that are out of my control.
I think of Elijah's birth mom today. I can't help but wonder what she is thinking and feeling. I can't help but hurt for her today.
Hoping for good news this week, bags are packed and I'm ready to go get my son.

Birth Certificate

We were notified this morning that Elijah now has a birth certificate. All we need now is his passport. Still on track for the May 11th embassy date.

Adoption- not for the faint of heart!

The cute little eye in the picture above belongs to Elijah. That's all I can show for now, but soon he'll be home and I'll be able to post many many pictures. If you see the ticker above you see that this process was started a long time ago! Well over 2 years. It has been a long journey, and an emotional roller coaster. I'm having a mixed emotion day today. I'm excited, because I know our travel call is close. Likely to be over Mother's day. Just a couple short weeks away. I rec'd another update today. I'm thrilled, that's the second one this month, Elijah is growing, gaining weight and developing, all without me. bittersweet. It's amazing and comforting to see him doing so well, but it's sad to feel like I'm missing it all. On a very small scale it must be what it is like for birth parents of adopted kids. Comfort to know they are well, heartache to be missing it. I'm also sad for friends who haven't rec'd updates in a long time, and for several others who didn't pass court, and for one in particular who is now awaiting their 5th, yep 5th court date. It's a long, hard journey, with so much uncertainty. I'm starting to think those that adopt have a special place in heaven! Not because they adopted a child, but simply because they survived the adoption process! It is certainly not for the faint of heart.

Elijah is ours!

So much has happened since my last post. I haven't had the time to sit and gather my thoughts enough to post anything profound. There is so much that has gone on in my head and thoughts that it has been hard for me to put it all into words. Being involved in a process that is so far out of your control and having a child that is on the other side of the world that you can't do anything for has been a lot for me to process emotionally. I guess you could say I'm just a little bit of a control freak, and I don't do well in situations where I have no control!
The day before our second court date we left for vacation with the kids. We drove straight through the night the first night, so while our case was being presented in Ethiopia we were driving through Iowa and Nebraska on our way to Colorado Springs(the first stop of our trip). I had a lot to think about and pray about while driving, knowing all that was going on in Ethiopia. We didn't have Internet access on the road so I had asked our case worker to call us when she heard anything. No call. By the time we got to our hotel I was pretty much over the waiting and immediately signed on to email. Nothing. I checked the Bethany Boards and found out that none of the people with court that day had heard anything. Apparently the Internet in Ethiopia was not working so we would have to wait until Monday.
By the title of my post you would assume we passed. That is not the case. The first time we didn't pass it was because MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs) did not write the letter needed to present to the judge on our behalf. They had a conference and were not able to get it done. Well this time they did all the letters for that day except for 2. They were then called out to a meeting. Ours was one of the 2 not done. I was so frustrated. Delayed again for 2 weeks. I tried to keep myself together and enjoy vacation with my kids, but it was difficult. Not passing the first time was hard, not passing the second time was devastating! Especially when I found out the family I was planning on traveling with had passed. I was thrilled for them, but suddenly was faced with the possibility of traveling alone.
On Wednesday (March 31) I rec'd an email from my case worker. Mowa had written our letter and Sissay (one of Bethany's workers in Ethiopia) had taken it before the judge and asked him to please look at the case early. The judge agreed and passed us right there on the spot. Elijah became legally ours. This was such a surprise and a huge weight was immediately lifted off of me. We celebrated Elijah Day at the Phoenix Zoo, followed by some swimming and then dinner at Claim Jumper. We were in Arizona at Jason's parents house, so they we able to celebrate with us.
On the way home from Arizona we were able to stop in Iowa and spend some time with another couple that has become very close to us through this adoption process. They are the family I was hoping to travel with and it looks like we will be doing just that. It was nice to actually meet them in person after being cyber friends for the past 2 years.
Since we've been home I've been busy gathering all my orphanage donations and gifts for the nannies and case workers as well as readying things for Elijah. I'm realizing that it has been a long time since we've had a baby and my house is no where near as baby ready as I thought it was. I moved Kennedi in with Mckenzie to make room in Tyler's room for Elijah. I have washed and folded all my cloth diapers and started going through all Tyler's old baby clothes. If all the updates on his measurements are correct he should just be entering the 6-9 month size when we bring him home.
I talked to my case worker yesterday and she said there is a good chance I could be traveling at the end of April. There is also a chance it will be in May, but she wanted to give me warning that it may be that soon. I hope it happens that quickly, although I know it will more realistically be in May. I believe the embassy dates assigned to Bethany are April 27, May 11 and May 25. I should be assigned one of those dates, but won't know until a few days before hand what my date is.

No good news today.

Our court date has been rescheduled for March 26th. 2 weeks from today. I won't go into all the details, as this is not a private blog and my thoughts on the subject are not very positive and uplifting at the moment.
Also the Ethiopian government is making some big changes in the adoption program, we are unsure as of yet how this will effect us, if at all. Bethany is doing their best to get information to us, but it is all new to them as well.
I can go into more detail when I'm in a better frame of mind, but for now that's all I got.

Court Date

We finally got our court date. March 12th. One week from today. I'm relieved that the wait for the court date to come won't be nearly as long as the wait for the court date to be assigned was! Now all we need is for all the papers to be filled out properly and all the proper people to show up when they need to. Some friends of mine were given the same court date. We have been hoping through this whole process that we would get to travel at the same time to pick up our children, and it's looking more and more like a possibility! If all goes well and court is passed the first time then I should be heading to Ethiopia the end of April or beginning of May.

Update

We did get an update yesterday. Elijah is doing well. He has gained almost half a pound, which puts him in the 5% range for his age. He is starting to sit, almost on his own. He loves to be hugged and touched the update says. This makes me happy. It means his nanny is hugging him and touching him. Two things that we know are so important for infant development and often times are lacking in an institutionalized setting. Although he is still tiny, he looks so much healthier and looks very happy in these new pictures.
Still no news on a court date. It seems to be taking forever, but I take comfort in knowing that Bethany is extra careful to follow all the proper steps and not cut corners in the process. There are some agencies that do what it takes to get the kids here quickly, but sometimes use questionable means to do so. I keep reminding myself that in the long run it's better that things are taking so long.

March 1

It's a new month. A new update should be on its way, hopefully including new pictures again. I thought for sure we would have a court date by now. In fact we were told it would take a lot less time than it has taken. I know all time lines in adoption are estimates and are subjective and are based on things out of our control, and even sometimes out of our agency's control, but that doesn't make it any easier. It's been emotionally difficult for me lately. I'm in an "I hate adoption and everything about it" mood. Which isn't actually true, but it is how I feel. I hate that this process takes so long and is completely out of my control. I hate that somewhere a mother had to give up a baby that she couldn't care for. I hate that she is required to appear in court to give him up again,(as though it wasn't painful enough for her the first time), I hate that there is a sweet baby boy in an orphanage on the other side of the world, that I can't hold and comfort. I hate what he is finally home he is going to be grieving the loss of everything he has known up to this point in his life.
I think those that have gone through or are going through an adoption will understand what I mean. I don't really hate adoption, and I'm so thrilled to be adding Elijah to our family, I'm just overwhelmed lately with the negative aspects of adoption. The things that we don't always see and feel and think about when we make the decision to adopt or hear of others adopting. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

This morning we had our fingerprints updated. My appointment was at 11:00 and Jason's was at 12:00. We walked in at 11:10, there was only one other person in the waiting area and they were waiting for something else. They took us both back at the same time we were finished 5 minutes later. It was the fastest, smoothest working government office I have ever been in! Hopefully the paperwork will be processed just as quickly and we will be done!

Next week I go for the rest of my travel vaccines. We are still waiting on a court date. It seems to be taking longer than we were told. There are still people from the December referrals waiting for court dates, so that is a little frustrating. We really want to have Elijah home in time to celebrate his first birthday with him. It's hard to know that he is growing and changing and we are not there to be a part of it.

Elijah Update!

We received an update and 10 new pictures of Elijah today! The update was done on January 25th. He hasn't really had any changes in gross/fine motor skills and hasn't really changed in weight or height. They did however say he is starting to be more vocal, making sounds and jabbering. I wish I could share the pictures with you, but that has to wait until he is home! He looks happy and healthy. He has more hair in these pictures, adorable tight curls! The kids were excited to see new pictures. I had to keep reminding Kennedi not to kiss my computer screen!

Hopefully news of an assigned court date will be coming soon.

No update this week. :(

It looks as though we will not be receiving an update on Elijah this week. Hopefully next week. I did get caught up on all my "regular" vaccinations yesterday and got my 1st Hep. A shot. I also set an appointment at the travel clinic to get the rest of them. The doctor said to call him before I leave and he will call in the prescriptions for Malaria pills and a z pack to take along with me.

I starting organizing my lists of everything that needs to be done, both for travel and for bringing our new little one home. Since I'm still laid up, making the lists is about all I can do, but it makes me feel like I am doing something.

Have a great weekend!

I sent an email to our social worker hoping to get some more information on Elijah. I didn't find out too much, but I'll share what I discovered. Bethany currently works with 3 orphanages in Ethiopia. Once a child becomes available to be referred to a family they are moved to the orphanage's (which ever one they are from) Addis Ababa branch. There are no transition houses. For us this means Elijah has been moved to Mussie orphanage in Addis. Since this is a new relationship for Bethany, I don't believe any of the families that have traveled before us have visited there.

I was also told that families who receive referrals for children ages 0-3 will receive monthly updates on their child. Children over age 3, bi-monthly updates.

Since getting this information, I discovered that 2 of the families that received referrals the same day we did got updates on their children today with new pictures as well. This makes me think an update on Elijah is on the way!

Tomorrow I go in for my first set of vaccinations, and to discuss my travel plans with my dr.

It's also the first time seeing my primary doctor since losing 100+ pounds!

That's all the update I have for now, but will continue to post on the process. Can't wait to meet my boy and bring him home!

8 months old

Elijah,

I'm thinking of you this morning and praying for you as I do often. You are 8 months old today. I am sorry that I am not there to hold you and care for you, I promise I will be soon. I'm sorry for all you have had to experience and all you have lost in your short time on this earth so far. I am so looking forward to starting our lives together, we are all so excited for you to come home. You should be receiving our photo album soon and your caretakers will start to talk to you about us. I know you are too young to understand what is going on, but please know that our hearts are already so filled with love for you. You have already become such a part of our family. Can't wait to meet you, I know it won't come soon enough.

The same day we got our referral for Elijah, we were also informed that our fingerprints expire this month. I was unaware the fingerprints could expire, seeing as how they never change, but they do! We applied for a new appointment to be inked again. Today in the mail we received our new appointments. February 12. This should still give us plenty of time to have everything filed and be done before it's time to pick him up. I emailed our social worker today to see if there are other things we are suppose to be doing while we wait, but she said for now we are good. So just waiting at this point.

We will be using cloth diapers and wipes for Elijah. I found some really cute ones for a great price on ebay and ordered them last week. They arrived yesterday. All we need now is a cute baby butt to put in them!

To add to the excitement and busy-ness of life, I decided to fall down the stairs this morning. I knew it hurt, but didn't realize how badly until about an hour or so later, when I couldn't even get to the bathroom. My mom came to my rescue and helped with all the kids (I had 6 today) until we could get ahold of all the parents and make arrangements for them all. Then she drove me to the ER, where I was told that I sprained my foot, and my knee as well as injured my tailbone. Looks like I'll spend the next 7-10 days hobbling around on crutches. I'm thankful that nothing was broken. Hopefully everything will heal quickly and I'll be good to go before travel time! The pain medicine is kicking in and the letters are starting to look blurry so I'll end for now!

We have a letter, and a name!!

It's been a busy Saturday around here. First of all we finally went through names, names and more names until we settled in on one we liked. We will keep "A's " Ethiopian name as his middle name, and his first name will be Elijah. I'm pretty sure this was on our original list, but had been pushed aside for awhile. The kids all agreed and cheered when we told them, so that made us feel even better about our choice.

I've been so anxious to get the mail all week, waiting for the employment letter, but today I had actually forgotten about it and didn't even make it out to the mail box until just a few minutes ago. Sure enough there it was! It has one mistake on it, but I think it should be fine. Because of the holiday on Monday, I will have to wait until Tuesday to mail it out, but at least we finally have it.

acceptance papers

This morning I took a long drive to the Bethany office. It's the first time I've been there. Usually our social worker comes to us or we meet somewhere in the middle. Had I not taken a couple of wrong turns, I would have been there in about 1 1/2 hour, as it stands it was an almost 4 hour round trip. Alison (case worker) wanted our acceptance papers this morning so she could get them out to Grand Rapids (HQ) before the weekend. It was a really good feeling to drop them off and have them out of my hands. We are still missing the letter from Jason's work, but she said for now we could include a pay stub. He doesn't technically get those either, but was able to print something off at work that showed a direct deposit going into our bank account every two weeks. Hopefully this will be good enough, I have lost all confidence in the illusive employment letter ever coming. It was a relatively simple request that has turned into a 2 week saga, with no result as of yet.

It was nice to see the office. Much smaller than I had pictured, and the only person present was the receptionist/secretary. I've talked to her so many times in the last 2 years, it was nice to put a face with a name. Silly as it seems, it's little things like this that make me feel like I'm doing something for my son. Just seeing the office where all the behind the scenes things are being done, gave me a small sense of connection.

We've started researching and pricing out flights. It's a little difficult without knowing travel dates, but at least is giving us some idea so when we are ready we know where to go and what to do. I'm not that seasoned of a traveller, so the thought of making this trip alone is a little overwhelming, but I know that the Bethany staff will take excellent care of me once I get there.

I don't expect to hear anything about a court date for another 4-5 weeks, but in the mean time will keep posting updates from our end.

"A"

It's been about a week and a half now since we've received our referral. There really hasn't been any more progress, we are still waiting for an employment letter. That is the last missing piece of our acceptance paperwork. Our agency recommends putting together a small photo album to send to your child. The nannies will use it to help familiarize your child with you. I found a small squishy one made by Sassy. I included pictures of each of us and one of the family together. I also enclosed a note card opposite each picture with the correct name on it. I think at his age, it's more for the nannies than it is for him, but it felt nice to be able to something for our child. It's the first thing we are able to give him or do for him.

It's such a bizarre and hard to describe feeling to have a child you have never met who is on the other side of the world. It has produced a certain angst and unsettledness (is that a word?), as well as a feeling of helplessness. For we now all we can do is pray. Pray for the process to go smoothly with no hang ups or delays, pray for the health of our little boy. Pray for those in charge of his care.

For now we refer to him as "A", the first initial of his given name. His given name means "God is sympathetic". We are still working on a name for him, but will keep his given name as his middle name.

I'll keep the updates coming as we make our way through the final steps of this process. It's quite a journey, but hey, at least I'm not puking everyday like I did with the other 3!

It finally happened

On January 4th 2010 we were finally (after 1 year of being on the wait list) referred a beautiful baby boy. 7 months old. We have been scrambling all week to get all of our paperwork completed and officially accept this referral. We seem to be having problems getting one form from Jason's new job, but aside from that we now have everything completed.

Unfortunately until he is legally ours, I can not share too much information.

The process from here, we were told, should take about 3 months if everything goes smoothly. I will then travel and spend about a week in Ethiopia and return with our new son.

This week 15 families rec'd referrals and several rec'd travel news. It was a busy busy week on the Bethany Boards. This is the biggest batch of referrals we have seen at one time, and was the result of Bethany establishing a relationship with another orphanage. It is amazing that so many more children will now have families.

Blog updates should be more frequent now as things develop and progress. We are also working on coming up with a name for our new little guy. We would like to incorporate his Ethiopian given name somehow in his name, but for now are at a loss. I guess we have time, but you know me, patience, waiting and being not in control are not my strongest points! Kennedi would like to name him "Stephika" or "Emma" because "if he can't be a girl he should at least get to have a girl name". Aside from her wishing it was a girl, the kids are thrilled, especially Tyler, who really wanted another boy around here.